According to Dr Robert Anthony fear has been around for thousands of years that we know of. “Our primitive ancestors feared thunder and lightning; feared the wild beast and feared each other. Fear was present when Noah launched his Ark. The word appears in the Bible over four hundred times.” When nations are at war, the world fears an expanded conflict. When there is not a war, we fear that there might be a war in the future. In between, we fear a thousand and one things, large and small, involving ourselves, other people and situations in our daily lives.
It is believed that we were born with only two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. The rest we developed ourselves. Fear takes many forms. There is claustrophobia which is the fear of confined spaces; agoraphobia, the fear of open spaces; ailurophobia, the fear of cats; astraphobia, the fear of thunder and lightning; hematophobia, the fear of blood; acrophobia, the fear of heights; hydrophobia, the fear of water; nucophobia, the fear of darkness; and the worst fear of all – the fear of failure.
Dr Anthony believes that fear is a destructive emotion that can deal a fatal blow to any attempt on your part to build total self-confidence. “If you allow your fears to run your life, it will be impossible to create the life you truly desire.”
Reverse, not rehearse,
your failures
By giving your dominant thoughts to failure, you are impelled to fail. Failure is rehearsed by constant repetition. How many times a day do you think about failing and failure? Do you ever tell people that you “know” you are going to fail? or a thousand other reasons why you think you will fail? This is the kind of negative rehearsal which, when combined with early childhood conditioning, makes you respond to the greatest challenges and opportunities with, “I can’t!”
What can we do to overcome our fear of failure? First, we must be willing to FACE failure. Before starting on a new endeavour, ask yourself, “What is the worst than can happen?” Be prepared mentally SHOULD failure occur. It is important here to distinguish this from expectation. It is not being implied that you should expect to fail, for this would make failure certain. What we are saying is that if you are mentally prepared for the worst, you will have the confidence to enable you to meet and successfully handle even the greatest of challenges.
We worry about many things, but they all boil down to this: WE ARE NOT LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. Now think about it. You can only worry if you are either focused on the future or in the past. If you are living in the present moment, it is impossible to worry. For instance, you cannot worry this very second because you are reading this write-up and your concentration precludes worrying in the moment. The mind cannot think of two things at the same time.
Overcoming fear and worry can be accomplished by living a day at a time, or better yet, a moment at a time. Forget about the future beyond that. If you live life a moment at a time, your worries will be cut down to nothing.
It is important to have a sense of humour. Humour is a safety valve. It keeps you from taking yourself too seriously. The problem with most people is that they take life too seriously. “Even religion is too serious. What should be light, exciting and uplifting is usually a guilt-producing experience.”
Again and again, plunge into the very thing that makes you afraid so that, in the end, your fear will be exposed for what it is – an illusion. This helps to build spiritual and emotional strength.
Most of the time fear is due to using the mind more than the body. If you think too much and neglect action, you generate fear. Lead a more active life and you will have less time to worry. Take long walks to release body tensions. An over-active mind and an under-active body can lead to trouble. Fear starts when there is a lack of balance. The principle has been recognized in developing the body, but completely overlooked in developing the mind and bringing the two into harmony.
Change, the order
of the universe
It is believed, arguably, that mental hospitals are filled with patients who are unable to face change. These people have created ways to try and escape from it. But if there is one thing even more certain than death and taxes, it is the inevitability of change. No one can avoid it. So we must learn to accept and look forward to it.
Change means changing your way of thinking. It is also being willing to give up things the way they are, to have them the way you want them to be! No one else can do that for you.
Change comes with
being different
Make no mistake about it, if you are to escape from mediocrity, you must consciously decide that you want to be different. All great individuals are different. They are different from the masses. This is what makes them stand out.
If you are exhausted and fearful, perhaps there is no adventure in your life. Nothing is worse than being in a rut. To sleep in the same bed every night, eat at the same restaurants, see the same people, go the same way to work, do the same thing every day is docility. Sameness destroys creativity. People caught up in this cycle are the slaves to sameness, the ones who fear the slightest change.
When you are frustrated with your daily routine, change it. Changing does not mean disregarding others or feeling superior. It means claiming the right to speak and act for yourself and doing what is necessary to make you happy. Confucius summed to up this way. “They must often change who would be in constant happiness.”
The first thing to do is to stop fighting change. Learn to live with it and enjoy it. The weather is going to change. Your company is going to change. The government is going to change. So are the people around you. Everything and everybody is going to change, so do not fight it. Be one of those who want do what they can change to improve things.
Make the right changes. The right changes are always positive. Begin by changing small things every day until change becomes a way of life. Do not cling to one lifestyle. Change the furniture or your style or dress. Switch things around in your room, apartment or house. Do not leave anything the same. Keep changing things just to make it interesting.
Change is a habit. Your whole life is lived by habit. Since infancy, you have trained yourself to respond the way you do. Changing your life means changing your habits. Sometimes this can be unpleasant, but the process of changing a habit will only be temporary.
To overcome apprehension of change, keep in mind the ultimate benefits you will receive. Concentrate on the benefits instead of on the fears and assumed hardships which change might impose. Write these benefits down. Read them each day and see how the change is benefiting you.
Look at everything that comes into your life as a chance to change for the better. If you are about to be transferred, or if your office or department is closing down, your job position has been eliminated, your lover has left you, you have to move to a new place, or your car has finally stopped running. Instead of dwelling on the negative, think of possible positive consequences. If you stop resisting, accept the change and look forward to a new and better experience, something good will happen. Good things come when you are ready to change.
BY CAPT SAM ADDAIH