Living in gratitude

Eckhart once said that if the only prayer we say in our whole life is THANK YOU that will suffice. Norman Vincent Peale puts it this way,” The more you practise the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.” Lissa Rankin tells us that when we focus on gratitude, positive things flow in more readily, making us even more grateful.

The application of multicultural wisdom—the shared values and the inherent positive beliefs of humanity— has become known as “perennial wisdom.” Perennial wisdom has been passed on from generation to generation since the birth of humankind. It continues to surface among diverse peoples, unconnected by geography or language, yet inextricably linked to what is inherently important in our shared experience of what it means to be human.

According to Angeles Arien, of all the universal themes that have been transmitted through perennial wisdom, the expression of grati­tude continues to be the glue that consistently holds society and rela­tionships together; its opposite—ingratitude—contributes to societal dissolution and separation. “The expression of gratitude is essential to humankind’s sustainability and survival. Gratitude’s stabilising and healing effects, which have been researched from multiple stand­points—cultural, psychological, physical, spiritual, and even finan­cial—have made it abundantly clear that the benefits of living a grateful life are irrefutable.”

If gratitude is a state of being that is essential to a life well lived, why then do we not cultivate and express it on a daily basis? After all, giving thanks and expressing appreciation for the blessings and gifts of life is a natural human response. Perhaps the key reason we do not make gratitude a part of our daily lives is that the accelerat­ed pace and multiple distractions of modern life have simply made it all too easy to forget gratitude’s importance.

We need not settle for our present disconnection from the healing, life-affirming, and uplifting human experience of gratitude. By engaging with the perennial wisdoms, we are reminded of our natural capacity to feel and express gratitude. Through conscious and sustained practice over a period of time, we can discover again how gratitude and all its related qualities—thankfulness, appre­ciation, compassion, generosity, grace, and so many other positive states—can become integrated and embodied in our lives. And when people in great numbers choose to practice, integrate, and embody gratitude, the cumulative force that is generated can help create the kind of world we all hope for and desire for ourselves and for future generations.

What is gratitude?

Every language in the world has a way of saying “thank you.” This is because gratitude is an inherent quality that resides within each human being, and is triggered and expressed spontaneously in a vari­ety of different contexts. Gratitude crosses all boundaries—creed, age, vocation, gender, and nation—and is emphasized by all the great reli­gious traditions.

Arien says “gratitude is essential­ly the recognition of the unearned increments of value in one’s expe­rience—the acknowledgment of the positive things that come our way that we did not – actively work toward or ask for.” The “Interna­tional Encyclopedia of Ethics” defines gratitude as “the heart’s internal indicator on which the tally of gifts outweighs exchanges,” a definition that echoes the notion of unearned increments. The connection to the concept of gifts is a natural one. The Latin root of the word gratitude is grata or gratia—a given gift—and from this same root we get our word grace, which means a gift freely given that is unearned.

Gratitude is a feeling that spontaneously emerges from within. However, it is not simply an emotional response; it is also a choice we make. We can choose to be grateful, or we can choose to be ungrateful—to take our gifts and blessings for granted. As a choice, gratitude is an attitude or disposition. Gratitude is a stance we voluntarily take, and one we can adopt through the difficult seasons of life as well as the good ones. The daily practice of gratitude keeps the heart open regardless of what comes our way.

Gratitude as virtue

Virtues are qualities that support the inherent goodness that resides within each human being. Grati­tude is both a social and a theolog­ical virtue. Almost all religious be­liefs cite gratitude as central among virtues. According to Arien, cen­turies ago, the philosopher Cicero argued that gratitude is the parent of all virtues, a virtue that begets other virtues. The cultivation of gratitude develops character, the embodiment of desired virtues. The advice to cultivate character by expanding one’s capacity for grati­tude is time-honored wisdom. The art of maintaining a grateful dispo­sition engenders other virtues such as generosity, humility, compassion, wisdom, joy, integrity, and trust. This disposition of mindfulness, of being aware of and thankful for our blessings, helps cultivate our virtues and significantly diminishes, or can even eradicates, any obsta­cles to gratitude we may face.

Related qualities

Angeles Arien believes that there are several words that arise repeatedly when discussing grati­tude, all of which reflect states that are related to it. While gratitude is both a feeling and an attitude, thankfulness is the demonstrative expression of it, whether extended to ourselves or others. We can ex­press thanks in words—spoken or written—or in deeds, by extending time, resources, or gifts to support people in unexpected ways or to help those in need. Appreciation is the recognition of that which makes us feel grateful, and can also be expressed internally or exter­nally. Gratitude often ignites acts of generosity; we are moved to offer ourselves to others without expecting anything in return. Bud­dhists refer to generous acts that are freely given as “royal gener­osity.” These are just a few of the qualities related to gratitude. “The expression of gratitude creates an opening that invites many other positive states and experiences into our lives.”

Four universal portals to

gratitude

Arien discerns four portals—or entryways—to the experience of gratitude. Recognising these portals at the time when they appear in our lives is key to developing the capac­ity to cultivate gratitude. Blessings are the primary, cross-cultural por­tal through which we experience gratitude. Additionally, learnings, mercies, and protections are three other portals attributed with foster­ing gratitude in various worldwide cultures.

These universal portals of blessings, learnings, mercies, and protections offer the human spirit the gift of awareness, the ability to recognize all those things that can inspire gratitude amid the paradox of life’s happiness and suffering. “Gratitude is the way the heart re­members––remembers kindnesses, cherished interactions with others, compassionate actions of strang­ers, surprise gifts, and everyday blessings. By remembering we hon­or and acknowledge the many ways in which who and what we are has been shaped by others, both living and dead.” We can understand the magnitude of gratitude’s power when we consider how the inten­tion of thankfulness corresponds with the deepest human realities of connection, creativity, healing, and wholesomeness.

One of the great benefits of a gratitude practice is the ability to track how the four universal portals of gratitude appear in our lives. When we do this, we find that the benefits of gratitude practice are multidimensional. Four quadrants of life experience, which human beings experience cross-cultur­ally: health and well-being; work environments and communities; financial stability; and relationships. Two other areas of human experi­ence—character development and spiritual growth—are influenced by, and in turn influence, all four quadrants.

Thoreau reminds us that “good­ness is the only investment that never fails.” Gratitude, the parent of all virtues, is the most fertile ground for growing in virtue. It is our intention of leading a good life, combined with the generation of new perspectives and thoughts that eradicates the excesses or temptations of avarice, greed, envy, and anger. “Gratitude awakens another way of being in the world, one that nurtures the heart and helps to create a life of meaning and purpose. The old barriers no longer confine us and the old fears no longer constrict or claim us. Gratitude opens us to freedom, a sense of generosity, and connec­tion to the wider world.”

BY CAPT SAM ADDAIH (RTD)