Self-discipline and courage

Mark Twain once observed that: “Courage is not absence of fear; it is control of fear, mastery of fear.” You need large amounts of self-discipline to deal courageously with all the fear-inducing events of your life. This is probably why Churchill said, “Courage is rightly considered the foremost of the virtues, for upon it, all others depend.”

Brian Tracy believes that fear is normal and natural. “Often, fear is necessary to preserve life, prevent injury, and guard against financial mistakes. The fact is that everyone is afraid—and usually of many things.”

So if everyone is afraid, Tracy would ask, what is the difference between the brave person and the coward? The only difference, he believes, is that the brave person disciplines himself to confront, deal with, and act in spite of the fear. In contrast, the coward allows himself to be dominated and controlled by the fear. Someone once said that—with regard to warfare, although it applies to any situation—“The difference between the hero and the coward is that the hero sticks in there five minutes longer.”

Fears can be unlearned
Fortunately, all fears are learned; no one is born with fears. Fears can therefore be unlearned by practising self-discipline repeatedly with regard to fear until it goes away.

The most common fears that we experience, which often sabotage all hope for success, are the fears of failure, poverty, and loss of money. These fears cause people to avoid risk of any kind and to reject opportunity when it is presented to them. They are so afraid of failure that they are almost paralyzed when it comes to taking any chances at all.

There are many other fears that interfere with our happiness. People fear the loss of love or the loss of their jobs and their financial security. People fear embarrassment or ridicule. People fear rejection and criticism of any kind. People fear the loss of respect or esteem of others. These and many other fears hold us back throughout life.

Fear paralyses action
The most common reaction in a fear situation is the attitude of, “I can’t!” This is the fear of failure and loss that stops us from taking action. It is experienced physically. When people are really afraid, their mouth and throat go dry, their heart starts pounding.

These are all physical manifestations of the inhibitive negative habit pattern, which we all experience from time to time, Tracy would say. “Whenever a person is in the grip of fear, he feels like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. This fear paralyzes action. It often shuts down the brain and causes the individual to revert to the “fight-or-flight” reaction. Fear is a terrible emotion that undermines our happiness and can hold us back throughout our lives.”

Do the opposite
Aristotle described courage as the “Golden Mean” between the extremes of cowardice and impetuousness. He taught that “to develop a quality that you lack, act as if you already had that quality in every situation where it is called for.” In modern terms, however, we say, “Fake it until you make it.”

You can actually change your behaviour by affirming, visualizing, and acting as if you already have the quality you desire. By affirming, by repeating the words, “I can do it!” emphatically whenever you feel afraid for any reason, you can cancel the feeling of “I can’t.”

Every time you repeat the words “I can do it!” with conviction, you override your fear and increase your confidence. By repeating this affirmation over and over again, you can eventually build your courage and confidence to the point where you are unafraid.

Visualize yourself as unafraid
Psychologists believe that by visualizing yourself performing with confidence and competence in an area where you are fearful, your visual image will eventually be accepted by your subconscious mind as instructions for your performance. “Your self-image, the way you see yourself and think about yourself, is eventually altered by feeding your mind these positive mental pictures of yourself performing at your best.”

By using the “act as if ” method, you walk, talk, and carry yourself exactly as you would if you were completely unafraid in a particular situation. You stand up straight, smile, move quickly and confidently, and in every respect act as if you already had the courage that you desire.

The Law of Reversibility says that “if you feel a certain way, you will act in a manner consistent with that feeling.” But if you act in a manner consistent with that feeling, even if you do not feel it, the Law of Reversibility will create the feeling that is consistent with your actions.

It is believed that this is one of the greatest breakthroughs in success psychology. “You develop the courage you desire by disciplining yourself repeatedly to do the thing you fear until that fear eventually disappears—and it will.”

Deal with the fear directly
The only way to deal with a fear is to address it head-on. The natural tendency of many people is to deny that they have a problem caused by fear of some kind. They are afraid of confronting it. In turn, it becomes a major source of stress, unhappiness, and psychosomatic illness.

Be willing to deal with the situation or person directly. As Shakespeare said, “Take arms against a sea of troubles, and in so doing, end them.” The companion of fear is worry. Like twin sisters, fear and worry go around together. Mark Twain once wrote, “I have worried about a lot of things in life, and most of them never happened.”

It has been estimated that 99 per cent of the things that you worry about never happen. and most of the things that do happen, happen so quickly that you did not have time to worry about them in the first place.

Leaders have two types of courage
In leadership, the most common quality is that of vision. Leaders have a clear vision of where they want to take their organizations. Leaders also have a clear vision of where they want to be sometime in the future in their personal lives.

The second most common quality of leaders is that of courage. Leaders have the courage to do whatever is necessary to fulfill their vision. They lead from the front and dare to go forward. There are two types of courage that you need:

First, you need the courage to launch, to take action, to take a leap of faith. You need the courage to go “all in” without any guarantee of success and with a high possibility of failure, at least in the short term. The major failing that holds most people back is that in spite of all their best intentions, they do not have the courage to take the first step.

The second type of courage that you need is what Tracy calls “courageous patience.” This is the ability to hang in there and continue working and fighting after you have gone all in and before you have yet seen any results or rewards. “Many people can muster up the courage to take action toward a new goal, but when they see no immediate result they quickly lose heart and pull back to safety and security. They do not have staying power.”

In the final analysis, the only real cure for fear or worry is disciplined, purposeful action in the direction of your goals. Get so busy working on your goals or the solutions to your problems that you have no time to be afraid or to worry about anything.

When you practise the self-discipline of courage and force yourself to face any fear-inducing situation in your life, your self-esteem goes up, your self-respect increases, and your sense of personal pride grows. You eventually reach the point in life where you are not afraid of anything.

“The second type of courage that you need is what Tracy calls “courageous patience.”

BY CAPT SAM ADDAIH

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