Self-discipline, peace of mind

James Allen once said that: “Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they, therefore, remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set. This is true of earthly as of heavenly things. Even the man whose object is to acquire wealth must be prepared to make great personal sacrifices before he can accomplish his object; and how much more so he who would realise a strong and well-poised life.”

Brian Tracy says that you require high levels of self-discipline if you truly desire to develop all your inner resources and fulfil your true potential. “Throughout the ages, in all religions and philosophies, the highest human good or ideal has been peace of mind. Your ability to achieve your own peace of mind is the true measure of your success and the key determinant of your happiness.”

Tracy believes that to develop spiritually and to become a fully functioning person, you must regularly apply self-discipline and self-control to your thoughts, feelings and actions. Spiritual development, inner peace and the experience of joy all require self-mastery and self-control.

Outer versus inner success

To succeed in the “outer world,” you must discipline yourself to focus and concentrate, work hard at your job, take continuous action toward your goals and become better and more capable as you move onward and upward in life.

To succeed in the “inner world,” however, requires almost the opposite abilities. To achieve inner peace, you must discipline yourself to let go of everything that can disrupt your sense of inner peace and contentment.

Zen Buddhism teaches that the main cause of human suffering and unhappiness is attachment. People become attached to ideas, opinions and material things and then become reluctant to let go of them. Sometimes people become so preoccupied with these external factors that it affects their mental and physical health, even keeping them awake at night.

When you practise detachment, separating yourself emotionally from things or outcomes, the negative emotions involved stop as well, like unplugging a light from its socket.

The need to be right

Most people have a deep-seated need to be right. However, when you stop caring whether you are right or wrong, all the emotions surrounding this need for rightness disappear. Dr Gerald Jampolsky once asked the powerful question: “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?”

Some people become deeply passionate about their political or religious beliefs, all of which have been learned from others in some way. But when you put those beliefs aside for a while, they lose their ability to stir your emotions or inflame your anger.

Refuse to blame anyone for anything

The chief cause of negative emotions and the primary destroyer of inner peace is blame. Tracy believes that it is not possible to have a negative emotion without blaming someone or something in some way.

Blame requires one or both of two factors. The first is identification, which occurs when you take something personally. As soon as you decide that someone has done or said something that negatively affects your personal interests, you become angry and blame that person.

Even if someone, preoccupied and perhaps distressed, accidentally cuts you off in traffic, you can become angry at a complete stranger simply because you took the behaviour personally.

However, when you discipline yourself to detach and stop taking things personally, the negative emotional charge connected with the incident disappears almost immediately. Instead of reacting angrily, you might say to yourself, “Oh well, he is probably in a hurry or late for work.” The moment you do this, the negativity vanishes and you become calm and relaxed again.

Give up your suffering

The second root cause of blame is justification. This occurs when you convince yourself that you are entitled to be angry or upset.

Many people fall in love with their suffering. Past problems become a central focus of their lives. They replay events repeatedly, engaging in angry inner conversations with people who are not present, reliving hurts and grievances.

In conversations, they often revisit these painful experiences, explaining how they were mistreated and how badly others behaved toward them.

When you discipline yourself to stop justifying negative emotions by repeatedly rehashing past events, and instead accept that difficulties are a natural part of life, the negativity tied to those situations gradually fades away.

Practice forgiveness

The height of self-discipline in spiritual development is the practice of forgiveness. The Law of Forgiveness states that you are mentally and emotionally healthy to the degree that you can freely forgive anyone who has hurt you in any way.

Every person has experienced criticism, unfairness, betrayal and dishonesty. These experiences are unfortunate but unavoidable aspects of human life. The only way to completely avoid such difficulties would be to live as a hermit.

The most important question to ask after a negative experience is: “How long will it take me to get over this and get on with my life?” This decision is entirely yours and represents a true test of mental and spiritual discipline.

Tracy believes that forgiveness is the key to spiritual freedom. “It is only possible for you to enjoy high levels of peace of mind when you develop the habit of freely forgiving others for everything they have done to hurt you.”

Forgiveness does not mean condoning bad behaviour or approving of it. On the contrary, forgiveness is a purely selfish act. It has nothing to do with the other person. You forgive so that you can be emotionally free and stop carrying unnecessary emotional baggage.

To use your mind at its highest level is to find reasons to forgive. Instead of analysing past events to justify anger, use your intelligence to accept responsibility and let go. The moment you forgive and release the past, you liberate yourself completely.

The payoff for using self-discipline to practise forgiveness consistently is extraordinary. When you apply self-control, self-mastery and detachment to situations that would otherwise make you unhappy, the overall quality of your life improves in a profound and lasting way.

By Capt. Sam Addaih (RTD)

Follow Ghanaian Times WhatsApp Channel today. https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbAjG7g3gvWajUAEX12Q
 Trusted News. Real Stories. Anytime, Anywhere.
Join our WhatsApp Channel now! https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbAjG7g3gvWajUAEX12Q