Solutions instead of problems

Because we can­not see a solution, it does not mean that it is not there. If you tell yourself that there is no way to expand your business, no way to complete this or that project, no way to get something done or get what you want, you focus on the problem instead of the solution.

Dr Robert Anthony counsels that you can use your subcon­scious to help you gain answers and solutions, or you can use the same subconscious to come up with reasons or rationalisations why it cannot be done. “The choice is always there, and the choice is always yours.”

An example of this is when you want to buy something. Most people shop around for the lowest price. Once they have found the item they want, they usually will try to come up with creative ways to cut back on expenses or do without something else so they can afford it. But what they do not realise is that they could use the same creative energy to figure out a way to keep what they have and earn more money to buy what they want. In other words, they can use the same creative energy to move backward or move forward.

When fear sets in, we very easily rationalise why we should retreat, give up, cut back, or why we cannot do something. Are you using your energies trying to figure out what things are not available to you or cannot happen for you, or are you putting your energy into how you can make them happen?

We attract what we feel

worthy of

Another reason we see prob­lems and failures instead of solu­tions or opportunities is because we do not feel worthy of being, doing or having the things we truly desire. The problem is that we can only attract that which we feel worthy of. The greater your feelings of self-worth, the higher the value you have of yourself, the more options you have, and the more risks you can take. The better you think of yourself, the more others will want to be part of your life. They will want to be your cli­ent, your customer or your friend.

A person with a strong sense of self-worth says, “I can handle anything. I do not know how to handle it yet, but I did not need to know how to do this until now. Now that it is here, the informa­tion will come through.” Every­thing then becomes an opportuni­ty to learn and do more.

Allowing others to be our

teacher

Sometimes the information that we need will come through other people. It can come in the form of a suggestion or even a criti­cism. However, if we have poor self-esteem or self-worth, we will not be able to accept suggestions or handle criticism from others. Our response will be defensive, such as, “Why should I listen to my subordinates?” “Why should I listen to my children? What can they possibly know that I do not know?” “Why should I listen to my mate? I am smarter than he (or she) is.” But the error we make is this – when we accept only our opinion, we shut out everything else. Again, our self-esteem or self-worth is not strong enough to accept input from others.

We have to allow others to be our teachers. This does not mean we have to accept everything they say, but it is to our advantage to at least listen to them to see if what they have to say is of value. It does not matter who helps you or shows you the way. The only thing that matters is the end result. A healthy response is, “If you can show me how to get there easier, better or faster, then I want to learn from you.”

When you are unable to figure how to get what you want, it is not because you are stupid. It is because you are conditioned not to see beyond your present level of awareness. In business, there is a tendency to lock on to approaches that are traditional. “This is the way we have always done it.” When we use that type of thinking and lock on to the way it was, we blind ourselves to the way it can be. So ask yourself these questions: “What ideas, beliefs or attitudes have I accepted?” Is there an idea, opinion or attitude that I have that is not supporting me in getting where I want to go, doing what I want to do, or being what I want to be?” If there is, then you must be willing to let go of that idea, belief, or attitude and concen­trate on the end result. You need to allow new information that will facilitate you in permitting the end result to get through.

Once you decide on how you want to live, what you want your group to accomplish or what you personally want to create, the process becomes exciting, because the information will come through and you will go out and find a way to make it happen.

Gaining the cooperation of

others

Dr Anthony also encourages you to not only make things hap­pen for yourself, but also for your business, your company, your fami­ly or any group you are working with. It is not so much what you believe, but what you can get the people around you to believe. The key is getting others to believe they are far more capable than they think they are, and to get them to stop dwelling on their limitations, why something cannot be done, or the way they acted in the past. You want them to begin focusing their attention on where they want to go or what they want to become. Once again, the end result is the only thing that counts.

When you have an idea or belief and are seeking to create something that did not exist before – a new product, service, business or whatever – your problem will not be YOUR belief in the idea. It will be trying to convince those around you that it is possible.

In order to get help and coop­eration from others in reaching a goal, your biggest problem will be how to get others to believe in YOU. “How can I get them to support me?” This is the problem that every leader faces. It is not so much a matter of what the leader believes, but rather what the leader can get the people around them to believe.

We know that everyone acts in accordance with truth, as they per­ceive it to be. If their perception of reality is faulty, they will come up with logical reasons why it will not work, why it cannot be done, why it is impossible, why it is too difficult to accomplish. Remember they are not intentionally trying to sabotage you or hold you back. They are acting in accord with the truth, as they perceive it to be.

The challenge is how to lead people to believe that they can do more than they think they are capable of doing. Perhaps you can see that your children have po­tential. But it does not do you any good to see their potential if they cannot see it. Good leaders and parents are able to help others to change their level of expectation, to change what they believe is true. They are able to motivate them to believe in something that they did not believe before and then help them to self-talk and image that belief into reality.

In order to do that, you cannot just ask them to blindly follow you. People today are too sophisticat­ed for that. As children we do it because we live on faith, but very soon we become logical adults and we want logical reasons. We have to teach others how to create from an idea, how to think differently. If they are not willing to think differently, they will do everything they can to prove they are right in believing what they believe, and in the end, they will either try to sabotage you or try to stop you to make themselves right.

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Sometimes the informa­tion that we need will come through other people. It can come in the form of a sug­gestion or even a criticism

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BY CAPT. SAM ADDAIH (RTD)